Kalau dah perempuan mmg begitu. 

Tinggikan ego utk orang yg syg dia tapi rendahkan ego utk org yg dia sayang.

Kau tak boleh nak mempersoalkan kenapa, bagaimana dan mengapa perlakuannya mcm tu. 

Sebab kalau dah namanya perempuan, macam tu lah keadaannya.

Kau boleh kata dia kejam, tak berhati perut. Tapi kalau dah namanya perempuan, hati dia tu dah tak ada kalau dimatanya hanya untuk orang yg dia sayang.

Rechapter.

                               

People always diasgree whenever im with him. People will say things like 

"Why him?"

"You know youre better than that."

But what people didnt know is how i felt. What i want. What i need. Because all this while, ive keep fulfill others wishes that i dont take a glance about myself.

People might said that

"He will do it again"

"Its just a scene for him to show you that he can do everything"

But people didnt know the inside of it. Because its a long story and let me keep it by myself. Because at the end of the day, they arent the one who gonna go thru the results. But me. 

                      

Its okay to be sad. Its okay to have your heartbroken. Because from that you will know, you will learn whats more than being hurt. And from that, ive learnt something. Not everyone you love will stay. Ive learnt that no matter how bad you love that person, respect yourself. How bad youre being treated, respect yourself. Pack up your things and move on. Its not your loss its theirs. So chin up and walk away. 

Memories stays memories. Im glad to know you. To learn that im not suppose to give all my heart to someone. And now youre just a strangers with memories. Thank you. I appreciated all of it. Thanks for put up with all my drama, my scenes. Thanks for stand strong behind me whenever i fall. Thanks for supporting me when im doubt. But most of all, thanks for being the one i never thought you will never be, the one who destroy me back. But thanks anyway, im much stronger now. You can see me smiling all the way without you helping me behind. 

You might be my morale all this while but i guess youre just some part of my fantasy. Have fun in life and congrates you guys woots. 

Bye.

oh well hi people. its been a long time right? :)

okay so i just finished my finals and so the upcoming event is my LKP which some courses i have to go through yeah......

my life for now quite good if you mean by the one im hoping for left me then suddenly came back when im totally get all over him and blame me for all the shits that happen. well if you mean by that uhm okay..

i dont know what should i feel now. should i feel hatred? or should i feel sad? im emotionless.

how i wish i never went to this university. how i wish i spent my life just like other kids out there. why do i even say yes or agree.

tipu aku cakap tak rindu.
tipu aku cakap aku tak cari kau.
tipu aku tak amik peduli pasal kau.

Aku rindu sangat, sampai aku tak sanggup untuk amik tau langsung pasal kau. Malah senyuman kau pun dah buat aku rasa sedih. Walaupun aku tak nampak kau tapi aku selalu rasa kehadiran kau dan perasaan aku tak pernah salah. Aku harap ego kita akan berkurangan.

Aku harap kau sihat. Aku harap kau tak tinggal makan kau. Aku tau kau kuat tapi entah lah tu cuma lakonan luar kau tapi dalam kau kecewa, sedih. Aku harap sangat dapat rawat kesedihan kau tu tapi kalau aku puncanya mana mungkin kan?

Dear A,
Tolong jangan tinggal makan, solat ye.  Belajar rajin sebab aku tau kau pandai. Senyum selalu sebab senyuman tu lah yang selalu menyejukkan hati aku walaupun aku marah gila dkt kau. Senyuman tu jugak lah yang paling ikhlas aku rasa. Jaga diri. Aku sayang kau selalu. Semoga berjaya.

Pinjaman semata

Assalamualaikum. 

Pada mulanya aku memang takd niat nak coret apa-apa harini. Tapi sesuatu yang menyebabkan aku nak jugak. 

Aku selalu terfikir, kenapa aku selalu sedih. Kenapa aku tak pernah dapat kebahagiaan mcm orang lain. Apa bezanya aku? Kenapa orang dtg dan pergi. Kenapa dorang kena muncul kalau dorang akan pergi jugak akhirnya? 

Lepastu tiba2 mak aku cakap mcm ni 

"Allah takkan bagi apa yg kita nak tapi dia akan bagi apa yg kita perlukan." 

Lepas aku dengar mak aku ckp mcmtu, aku terdiam. Mungkin ada betulnya. Mungkin kehadiran dia sebab aku perlukan seseoang. Aku perlukan seseorang untuk bimbing aku, naikkan semangat aku yg jatuh. Mmg dlm hati aku, aku sangka dia tapi dia cuma persinggahan. Dia dtg utk tlg aku. Aku patut sedar tu.

Tipu lah aku tak sedih. Aku sedih sangat sampai aku dh tak tau apa tu sedih. Banyak benda nak diperkatakan tapi semua tu sangkut. Tak boleh nak keluarkan. Seolah2 ditahan. Mungkin supaya aku tak menangis atau putus asa. Mungkin..

Sekarang, aku redha. Mungkin Allah pinjamkan dia untuk aku belajar kesilapan aku dan perbaiki hidup aku. Untuk aku jadi lebih matang dalam hidup ni. Insyaallah aku akan :)

Last message.

I'm sorry if I'm giving up but i didnt see any good in us. We are not on the same track anymore. Good luck in your life and hope you're success in pursuing your dream. I hope we gonna be good on future, i hope. Bye






but just so you know, Im always there whenever you need a shoulder to cry on. I always do. Take care.